Bitter?
I’d drive 3000 miles out west to see everything we could have been
I’d turn back the seconds if i knew we could end someway other than this.
Ive give up on this town of broken promises and lost hope.
I’ll move into the city to fill the void where my big dreams once were.
I’d do anything to escape the death hold you have over everything i do.
You always intended to take everything that was never yours for the taking
Youve made your point , now ill make sure you hold it in your heart.
Just at the right angle to cause you some discomfort – payback for all you did.
Eventually the pressure of something so weighted will break you the way you broken me.
Everything i ever said was wasted on your ears.
Every seedy glance you gave was wasted on my eyes.
I would never regret making the mistake of you.
It taught me more than you know.
And you taught me to never let it show.
You cant keep it quiet forever
But knowing you, you’d try.
Listen to every piece of advice.
But dont listen at all.
Its much more appealing to watch you fall.
You’re nothing to anyone who matters
You’ve always been the top scorer, striking all the time.
But its about time that you start losing at your own game
It looks almost as though your lucky streak is over.
Something so worthless was held so high
And now its falling faster than they fell for you.
Your heart can take any of those feelings that it may just have had
(Of which im assuming that there were never any at all)
Box them up with all of the memories we had>
And burn them like i will your photos and the part of me you took away that night.
I would never regret making the mistake of you.
It taught me more than you know.
And you taught me to never let it show.
You cant keep it quiet forever
But knowing you, you’d try.
Listen to every piece of advice.
But dont listen at all.
Its much more appealing to watch you fall.
But none of it really matters at all.
Im down with wanting you, i dont need you anymore
Ive moved on and now im done with you
Over. Done. We are Through.
I dont know what this is.
You are my sunshine, when i need to sleep.
And my moon when i wake up.
You are my light when its light out, and my dark when the sun sets.
Youre everything i need, when i dont need anyone.
And youre nothing when i need everything.
Youre my everything, but you cant be.
You should be my nothing. But i cant help but let you into my heart.
I dont think you know youre doing it.
But you slowly find your way in.
Something you say or do finds a way to make my heart skip a beat.
And everytime i see you i get that funniness in my stomach.
Its so hard to think straight when im in your presence.
Everytime i have to leave, it leaves me wanting more.
Constantly craving your voice, your touch, you.
And its so hard to know that you dont feel the same.
I thought id be able to do this.
But, i cannot. You had me at hello.
And everything since has just made it more certain.
I wish i didnt feel this way, actually that isnt true.
There is no one better than you.
I just wish it were possible for it to be mutual.
Its just going to get harder.
The beating in my chest is rapidly increasing.
As the days decrease.
And soon ill go back to waiting for you again.
This kills me.
fuck i miss you.
i want you.
when you wake up in the morning, with tired eyes and a yawn.
when you get dressed so quickly but so well.
when you go about your daily business
when you stress out and work yourself into a frenzy
when your shy and quiet
when your drunk
when you fall asleep
when you pin me to the wall
when youve got me in bed
with your shirt off and your hands wandering.
i want you.
all the time.
not just sex.
not just physical.
i want all of you.
ive wanted it for so long.
i want you breathing heavily ontop of me.
i want you laying asleep next to me.
i want you with your hand in mine.
i want you with our lips together.
i want you in a hotel room in new york.
i want you in your parents bed.
i want you on the beach in california.
i want you at disneyworld
i want you backstage.
i want you on the floor.
i want you in the car.
i want you on a plane.
i want you in the uk.
i want you when youre not here.
i want you when youre here
i want you while everyone else has you.
i want you with youre green eyes.
i want you with your brown hair
i want you to treat me like im your world.
i want you to be my world.
i want to be your world.
i want you to want me.
Dont Be So Scared
Life is only as good as you make it
Positive thinking is a must
True happiness does exist – find it
Find it and cherish it
Find it and devote yourself to it
Find it and make it worth your life
You can change the world
You can make a difference
Your life is in your hands
Do something productive with it
Dont let something so precious go to waste
Dont let it slide out of your hands
Live life to the fullest
Dont let yourself die before you’ve lived
Teeter @ The Reverb.
Tonight i went to see a local-ish band called Teeter, most people reading this probably know of/know them. They’ve put on a really really really good show both times ive seen them, and it is wonderful. Im really excited for the new cd theyre going to be recording, they make some amazing songs, if you havent heard of them please do check them out. I have a feeling that this time next year, they’ll be huge so, if you get a second www.myspace.com/teeter is where theyre at. They’re honestly some of the dopest guys around, and i legitimately love their music, as well as them.
I have some pictures and videos that im uploading right now, im sure that you’ll see some of them eventually.
The most of the other bands that played, Hasket, Everlea and Sope were all really good, whereas farewell to 44 were not so good.
It was a really fun time with some really fun people. I got to see some of my best friends, so it was great.
Hopefully ill see Teeter again before they head to Baltimore to record their cd, but if not i will be waiting patiently for their return haha.
s’all for tonight.
Oh and!
I miss those boys more than anyone can truely understand.
For some reason this was more hilarious than anything else today.
So its being posted.
This night.
Is the last of my march break. This week is going to be horrible, but ill get through it. School tomorrow wont be fun, but i will deal. Im hopefully getting my hair cut this week, and colouring it myself. We’ll see how things go. Im looking forward to thursday and seeing Teeter and Paul. Those are some wonderful boys. Then easter weekend is friday-monday which will be fun i suppose.
Its almost 11.11 and im deciding while drinking this pomegranate/tangerine juice, who i should waste this wish on.
Who knows what will happen when the time comes. I just wish i did.
Sleep is calling. So goodnight.
oh and..Dont Be So Scared.
When im with you.
Saw you walk in to the room
Thought i’d try to talk to you
Babe, am i ever glad you wanted me to
Its been two years to the day
half the time I’ve been away
I know I’m not there enough
but that’s gonna change
cause I’m coming back
to show you that
I’m keeping the promise that i made
When i’m with you
I’ll make every second count
cause i miss you, whenever you’re not around
when i kiss you
ill still get butterflies
years from now,
I’ll make every second count
when I’m with you
yeah we’ve had our ups and downs
but we’ve always worked them out
babe am i ever glad we got this far now
still i’m lying here tonight
wishing i was by your side
cause when i’m not there enough
nothing feels right
so i’m coming back to show you that I’ll love you the rest of my life
When i’m with you
I’ll make every second count
cause i miss you, whenever your not around
when i kiss you
ill still get butterflies
years from now
i’ll make every second count
when i’m with you
when i’m with you
Whatever it takes
im not gonna break the promise i made
When i’m with you
I’ll make every second count
cause i miss you
When i’m with you
I’ll make every second count
cause i miss you, whenever your not around
when i kiss you
ill still get butterflies
years from now
i’ll make every second count
when i’m with you
When all the broken hearts in the world agree.
So this is it. This is my life. Soon i will be out of highschool, and free to be…me. Unlike every other journal ive started, imma try keep ontop of this one. I have some things brewing under my lid, and im excited to let them out, i just need finalization. Im one of these people who always gives definates when its unknown, so im trying to change that. Im waiting until i know, for sure. This week was Spring break, i didnt do anything all week to be honest, i just..watched OC reruns. Ha. Im going to be looking for work over the next few weeks, well, harder than usual. Im in desperate need of not only a job for right here right now, but for the summer. I need to find a band to merch for. But i have no idea where to start. Im trying to get my life together, once and for all. I seem to have school down…after 12 1/2 years its about time. So now for life. Lets see if i can get this. This is it. This is for the nights that i felt alive. And all of the ones to come. Recorded. Noted. Blogged. This is my 15 minutes every day to spill everything, from what ive done daily, to whats on my mind, t0 me attempting to write something of substance, to new thoughts and ideas, to me rant and whining, and even just fun photos and videos. Here’s where you’ll find it all. Welcome to my life.